- leadership
- patterns
- development
The Patterns That Hold Leaders Back
The patterns that limit a leader's growth are stubborn because they are habits — and they enabled success to this point in time. They simply look like how things get done.
Ask a leader what's holding them back and they'll most likely point to something external: market conditions, shareholders or the board, a difficult stakeholder. Rarely do they look inwards to identify patterns of thought or behaviour that once worked well for them and now quietly limit their growth and potential. These patterns are stubborn because they are habits, and they enabled success to this point in time. They simply look like how things get done.
Why nobody tells you
Part of the problem is structural, not psychological. The more senior someone becomes, the fewer people are willing to challenge them directly. This is a rational response to risk. Questioning a leader's reasoning carries a potential risk and a cost, and so the result is that the others in the room quietly choose not to. Tasha Eurich's research on self-awareness found that genuine self-awareness is rare, and that it drops away with seniority, largely because honest feedback simply dries up the higher someone climbs.
This is precisely why the responsibility shifts. If a leader can't rely on others to challenge their thinking, they must build that skill and make it a habit. The impact this has on the wider team is measurable. Leaders who are self-aware give everyone in their organisation permission to be self-aware too.
The commitment underneath the pattern
Harvard researchers Robert Kegan and Lisa Lahey explain why these patterns persist even when a leader can see them. The patterns aren't laziness or a lack of willpower. They are a logical response to an unexamined fear, and the patterns will keep winning until this is uncovered.
Organisational theorist Chris Argyris found something similar in his research on what he termed defensive routines. These are the reflexive habits highly capable people use to avoid situations that might expose error or perceived incompetence. Notably, Argyris found these routines were often strongest in the most accomplished people in the room, precisely because they had the most riding on always appearing capable.
Learning to challenge yourself
If external challenge becomes harder to come by the more senior someone is, the skill that matters most is the ability to interrogate one's own thinking. This requires a structured, external relationship built specifically to keep testing decisions against reality, long after everyone else in the room has stopped pushing back.
The leaders who shift these patterns aren't the most self-disciplined. They're the ones who've deliberately built a habit of being challenged. They are the leaders who know that no one else in the building is going to volunteer for the job.
References
Argyris, C. (1990) Overcoming organizational defenses: Facilitating organizational learning. Boston: Allyn and Bacon.
Eurich, T. (2018) 'What self-awareness really is (and how to cultivate it)', Harvard Business Review, 4 January. Available at: https://hbr.org/2018/01/what-self-awareness-really-is-and-how-to-cultivate-it (Accessed: 14 July 2026).
Kegan, R. and Lahey, L.L. (2009) Immunity to change: How to overcome it and unlock potential in yourself and your organization. Boston: Harvard Business Press.